Photography edits by KELSEY BETHUNE PRESETS

Sweater and boots c/o Jenni Kayne | Grlfrnd denim | ASOS handbag | Miamica mask

My goal of posting on truelane at least once each month this year is off to a somewhat great start—it’s only March, and here I am.

I logged on to write about an entirely different topic, and found this draft sitting unpublished in the queue and thought I might as well hit ‘post’ to ease back into things. Many things are still the same since these photos were taken in September: still masking up, still settled comfortably at my parents house, still working in property management until my debts are paid. More to come (I’m promising myself and you), but in the meantime, here’s the writing from last September:

I’ve spent (and quite honestly, wasted) a lot of money trying to find the best mask to fit both my face and my lifestyle, and have settled on these Miamica sets that I found—surprisingly—at Ulta. Most importantly, they passed the can’t-blow-out-a-candle test, and they have all the criteria on my face mask wish list: a nose wire, adjustable ear straps, and a pocket for a filter.

As the pandemic drags on and the heaviness continues to pile higher onto itself, I hope you are taking good care of yourself and others. For me, the nonfunctioning days involve a lot of sitting on the couch or on my bed, too mentally taxed to even scroll on my phone—and that’s okay. Someone wise once told me that when you are feeling low, take the focus off of yourself by thinking of ways you can help others. And right now, doing something for others is as simple as putting on a face mask.

As informative and overwhelming as it has been filling our brains with anti-racism nonfiction over the last three months, I’ve seen dozens of posts asking white and non-Black allies to read simply “normal” Black literature. This is a very straightforward, albeit small, way to normalize Black culture in our world of white supremacy. We don’t only want to read about the ways that Black people are oppressed and how to fight the system, but we can actually fight it by simply reading a regular novel about a Black person living their life. Naturally, I dove right into my favorite genre to start the search for a good read—coming-of-age debut young adult novels—where I found the powerful and heartbreaking gem that is Color Me In by Natasha Díaz for August’s truelane book club pick.

In a word, Díaz’s writing is enchanting. Nevaeh Levitz is a high school sophomore whose parents, a Jewish father and a Black mother, have recently split on definitively un-amicable terms. Nevaeh is white presenting, which means she has light skin and appears by a visual account to be a white person in most communities. This affords her a ton of privilege that she doesn’t understand, which her Black female cousins on her mother’s side are swift to point out when she moves to Harlem. No longer in the wealthy white neighborhood of her comfortable childhood, Díaz skillfully takes us through Nevaeh’s identity search for whether her Blackness can fit with her whiteness, and if she can find a way to be proud of both cultures.

When reading good fiction, you never need to question whether your protagonist is a real person or not—they are real enough on the page and their experiences affect you similarly. In Color Me In, it was clear right away that Díaz was drawing on personal experience throughout, and I was not surprised in the end acknowledgements to find it was autobiographical fiction. Unpacking the memories of a life you put away long ago couldn’t have been easy, and Díaz crafted the story beautifully.

Dancing with the electric colors of New York City on hot summer nights, dozens of dynamic characters from every walk of life, a magical first love that goes exactly the way you want it to and plenty of high school and social media drama, this is a novel that is full of spice and life while taking you to places of loss, heartbreak, and fear. The lows are low, but they teach you lessons along the way—including the importance of continuing to work towards closing our nation’s prolonged chapter on racial injustice.

Order Color Me In from Black-owned bookshop The Lit. Bar today:

Photography by Michele Equitz

Sezane top (similar) | AG jeans | Sezane bag (similar) & shoes (similar)

Things have changed since we last spoke.

I don’t know about you, but whenever I see a picture of myself pre-COVID-19 era, I think…who is that girl? What was that life? Did I really smile every day and hug my friends? Did I eat meals at restaurants and shake hands with strangers?

And in August 2018 when these photos were taken, I did. Now in April 2020, I don’t even know when I’ll see Michele outside of a FaceTime call again.

This global change to our lifestyles came so drastically and so quickly that the life I lived before seems fuzzy. Two weeks ago seems fuzzy. Even two days ago seems fuzzy. All I can say is that I’m unspeakably grateful for the people who are risking their lives to save others. To save all of us. Thank you, thank you, thank you.